Written by Peter Jon Mitchell, a researcher at the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada

“Remember, sex is about having a good time – be safe and enjoy.” So says Sexpress: the Toronto Teen Survey Report that received national media attention in June. The report’s authors enshrine this advice in the survey’s Youth Bill of Sexual Health Rights. They say teens want and need to learn about sexual pleasure. Similarly in the UK, the National Health Service in Sheffield made international headlines in July with a pamphlet for teens called Pleasure, in which they recommend teens seek sexual fulfilment twice a week as a measure of good health. The question is whether sex can be made safe, and if so, what does this advice assume about teens?

Contrary to the stereotype, not every teen is having sex. Efforts to make sex safe for teens have not been successful. Furthermore, surveys over the last dozen years consistently show teens are influenced by parents, not sexual health clinics, when it comes to making decisions about sex.

A national survey published this spring by University of Lethbridge sociologist Reginald Bibby reports that about 45 per cent of Canadian teens say they have never been sexually involved. After examining the data on monthly sexual activity across all age groups, Bibby declared that, on average, senior citizens “get it on” more times a month than teens.

This is not to say teens aren’t sexually active and parents ought not to be naïve. Although teen pregnancy rates have fallen, sexually transmitted infections have been rapidly increasing. American paediatrician and author Meg Meeker, in her 2002 book Epidemic, argues that the intense focus on reducing teen pregnancy through oral contraceptives has contributed to rising STI rates. Looking back on her own medical practice, Meeker evaluates her years of putting young women on the pill as akin to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. A Canadian study (CJHS Vol. 15 #2) suggests that teen girls who use the pill tend to use condoms less frequently, particularly in the later teen years.

Since efforts to make sex safe have been less than successful, over the last couple of decades the “safe sex” mantra has been downgraded to a “safer sex” message. Take condoms, for instance: reports like the 2001 paper sponsored in part by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services demonstrate that condoms provide only some protection against disease and are not a panacea.

Teens who delay sexual activity reduce their risk of disease and early pregnancy. But this hasn’t slowed some sexual health advocates in placing a premium on personal fulfilment and pleasure.

Where has all this left parents? A survey periodically conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has consistency found since 1996 that teens say parents are the most important influence on their sexual choices. The survey also reveals parents consistently underestimate their own influence. Studies have found that teen perception of strong family relationships and parental attitudes towards sex influence their sexual choices. Far from stifling young people, parents have their teen’s best interest at heart and have the primary role of helping young people form healthy sexual attitudes.